Such a tragedy

Dear Japan,

My heart hurts for you. My emotions are going crazy because there's not much I can do to help you except pray for you. I'm praying. I hope you are feeling comforted?
This scares me. All these things happening. These natual disasters...scary. I'm not so much afraid of death. Granted I don't really want to suffer...I'd rather just die. It's the emotional suffering of not knowing how my loved ones are. If they are safe, if they are hurt, if they are suffering, or if they have joined our loving Heavenly Father.
Is it bad that it's only in these experiences that OTHERS have to suffer, that I think about the hard times I could face? Is it bad that it's REALLY the only time I take SERIOUS food storage, water storage, ways to get in touch with my wonderful husband, as well as my family? So what is it other times? A joke? No, I don't think it's a joke. Maybe I'm just turning a blinds eye to it. It really won't happen right? Wrong. I want to say I'm glad that it wasn't "us" this time, but how can I say that? There is just as many wonderful people over in Japan who are suffering, just as much as I would be had it been "here" (here being my family and loved ones involved), some families over there might even being suffering more than what I would have been. It's heart wrenching. So sad. I can't ignore it, and I don't think it's right to ignore it. Maybe I should learn from it this time...maybe I SHOULD start getting prepared. I need to figure something out. Maybe that will be family home evening this week.....? Next week. And the week to come.....?
I joked with my brother Tyler for about 6 months telling him HE would be going to Japan for his mission. Why did I say that...I don't know. Because I wanted to be funny. NOW....I cried for about 15 minutes because I was sooo grateful he didn't go there! Then I cried for about 15 more minutes for those missionaries, and families of those missionaries, who ARE over there in Japan. the Lord loves his people and I DO believe that they are looked out for and blessed....but what if the Lord needed them home to help them. My heart hurts again. This is such a sad, scary thing.
I wish I could help them out. I also wish there was something I could do for the West coast. Their heart ache wasn't as bad as Japans, but I'm sure there are still those who are suffering.
I guess to end this I should look at the good things in my life, and the things I have now. My family and loved ones are safe. I now have in laws who love me and who are also safe. I have an AMAZINg husband who loves me more than anything I could have ever imagined. I have a home where I'm safe from the weather. (heat and cold). I have a job. Tyson is able to study and go to school. We have a car. We have amazing friends. We have an amazing ward family here in Pittsburgh, as well as those friends we have back home who were in our other wards. And we have the gospel.

Sincerly,
One truly heartbroken, and grateful.