Pregnancy Updates

Mostly I feel like all I have done since moving to Pittsburgh is complain. Anyone else feel that way? It's probably true, I really, honestly, sincerely, greatly disliked Pittsburgh when we moved here. I'm growing out of it mostly. I've come to find the joy, acceptance in the simple Pittsburgh things. However I will still be grateful for the day when we move. With that said, since becoming pregnant I've tried so very very VERY hard to stay positive. I'm not good with things changing on me, and having a changing stomach, and changing mood swings....pretty much kills me. But I'm staying positive and it's amazing how many more good things I see than down things, I've even transferred that train of thoughts to Pittsburgh...Who knew that when I'd come back from vacationing in Utah, I'd actually missed Pittsburgh? That my friends is considered a miracle in m book. By small and simple things...or thoughts, great things come to pass.

***I finally invested, no scratch that-- my MOM thought I was very uncomfortable wearing my normal jeans with the rubber band trick, so she got me some maternity pants. I'm not sure how i feel about them. I mean, Sure they're decently comfy. But honestly, have you taken a look at them? Not exactly my cup of tea, in regards to fashion...and I'm not a fashionable person. Basically they're not the most attractive thing to ever frame your butt. However, with the unattractive thing pushed aside, they are actually pretty comfortable (and who is ever actually comfortable in jeans). I can't get over how long it takes me to pull them up and get them all situated after using the restroom though, and since I visit the bathroom a lot longer than I used to...it becomes quite annoying.

***Pregnancy Brain. This is probably the HARDEST thing ever to accept. At least for me. Let me brag about myself for a second here. I have always felt like I have had the best control of my life. I was good excellent at juggling 5 things at once, and having the busiest schedule that I possibly could...and still get everything I wanted to accomplish, done. I stayed very organized with my time and in my home (maybe a little more to the OCD of organized, but I was still organized and it's how I did everything). However even though I was a very organized person I took, even welcomed change in my schedule. A change of plans rarely bothered me. I hardly ever forgot things that I needed to do, and I hardly ever had to sit and ponder what I was supposed to be doing. Alright, enough about my super OCD. With Pregnancy come a great loss of everything I once was. At first it wasn't to hard to accept, because at first I didn't have any care/motivation for anything. No biggy. It still bugged me that I didn't care to be organized or have a clean house, or my day planned out, but it didn't stress me. However pretty soon my "care/motivation" came back. Except my memory fled, as well as all my planning skills. Talk about a HUGE dose of humility. Never in my life have I struggled with remember what to do, cleaning, organizing, planning out my day, remembering to shut off the water once I finished doing the dishes, remembering to make my husband dinner, remembering if I work today or not and showing up to work! WOW. SO HARD. Guess I needed to learn to be not so scheduled...I think that means my child is going to be non-scheduled. Better to learn it before he comes I suppose. Let's just say it got to my emotions so bad that I seriously thought something was wrong with me that I asked my doctor what was happening. Doctor told me it's called "pregnancy brain". So I went home and googled it. I read a million other ladies stories before I sort of accepted it.

***I've never really been a fan of my height. Sure, it helped playing sports...a lot, but if I could I would have grown for sports, and then shrunk for everyday life. I suppose I just have always liked wearing shoes with heels, and I couldn't because if I did I was taller than all the boys. However Pregnancy might change my mind a little here. I am just no starting to show. Okay I've had a bump for awhile, but unless I wore a tight shirt I could hide it. Now I can't even hide it with a baggy shirt. I still think to other people, I'm in that awkward stage of "is she fat, or is she pregnant"? Because I get a ton of stares. But considering I'm 24 weeks and I'm still in that state. Awesome. I'd be okay If I never got to a real "pregnant state" look. (and honestly...don't worry about seeing me. I havn't taken a picture of myself and my belly since day one. I look horrible in pictures when I'm trying to look good. So by feeling fat, and never getting myself ready, yeah I don't know if I'll ever really have any pictures here.)