30-31 weeks

This Picture is me at 30 weeks.

I'm now 31 weeks.

The weeks are starting to fly by so much faster. I don't know what I'm going to do when I all of a sudden have a new baby to take care of. It's intimidating. Very scary. I am responsible for not only my life, but someone elses. Yikes.

I go back and forth from being overwhelmed, to estatic. 90% of the time it is overwhemling though. haha A baby. Yup. That word sums it all up. Baby = Overwhelment. However when I am in the estatic phase, I can't halp but think of how this little bundle of joy is going to be mine. He will totally be a part of me. His spirit will be so pure, and sent down from heaven just for me. Wow. Heavenly Father is trusting ME with this childs life. I don't know what I did to earn that trust, but it makes me want to be a better person and mom all the more.

Gosh, to sentimental for my pregnancy emotions.

Seriously though.

Lately all I can think about is our Heavenly Fathers plan for us. While growing up, everyone hears how they are the chosen generation. Sure. I thought I was, but now that I'm having a baby and the world seems so much more corrupt than what it was when I was a child. I can't even imagine what my child will have to go through. I can only hope and pray that I will be a good example for this child, that I can teach him the things he needs to know to succeed in life, and that when faced with opposition he'll remember those teachings. I hope that my testimony is strong enough to help him, and to teach him how his can grow and he can learn on his own.

On a lighter note, maybe...

I actually find myself similing more and more about having this baby. As scary as it is to me to be the one who feeds the baby, gets up with the baby, basically is responsible, I can't wait to take it on. I'm getting this attachment to this child who I've never met or seen yet. (Just felt...mostly in my ribs.) I am still worried that I wont have that special "bonding" feeling when they hand me my baby in the hospital. Yet I know that I love this child, and even if it isn't an immediate "spark" when I see him. I still have feelings for him, and they will only grow.

Seriously, a lighter note this time.

I have been so blessed to have so many wonderful friends, and family members who have helped me to start my own baby collection. I have clothes to dress my little experiment in, I have diapers and wipes for him, I even have a car seat! (He can now come home from the hospital with me!) I have a jogger, that I'm totally pumped about because then I can get outside with the baby and go for walks/runs. I have a million little baby shoes that I'm seriously in love with, and can't wait to put them on his feet! (I'm a shoe-aholic) I have awesome blankets and some cool toys. I still need a couple important baby things, but for now, I'm feeling super proud of myself.

And besides I still have 9 weeks.

;)