Embarrassing Story.

I'm going to just out myself.
Because for all I know it's might end up somewhere on the Internet anyways.
(If it was opposite, I'd have blogged about it...)
Here's the story.
First I'll inform you on some things:
1. I FINALLY got a new pair of running shoes. YES. I might do a little better at walking the next day. Unfortunately it isn't my Vibram 5 finger shoes ... maybe I'll ask for those for my birthday.
2. I have these shorts. They are my very VERY favorite pair. I've had them since 9th grade. They are superb.
3. I have this hairstyle that I used to do when working out/playing soccer. It's a bun on the top of my head. Utterly amazing. No bobbing pony tail, no sore neck, and no sweat running down my neck and into my hair then down my back, causing my hair to become a wet blanket stuck to my back.
4. I finally made a play list to work out to...with no random slow songs in there by mistake. oh oh. and my I pod was charged.
5. Ty had class until 8:30. Not that it's a good thing...it's just I wont feel guilty that I'm at the gym instead of home with him, or that he came with me, and since he's in better shape than me, I feel defeated because he ends up running at a 8:2 ratio of me walking. Or something like that.
6. I was totally pumped to go to the gym. I have a fairly stylish new pair of shoes, My favorite pair of shorts were clean, my hair is FINALLY long enough to put it up in this amazing hairstyle, I had good music on my Ipod and it was fully charged, and Ty was in class. Life couldn't be better.
I headed off to the gym. DETERMINED to run 3 miles WITHOUT stopping. I was going to do it too. Everything was going my way.
I got to the gym, found the perfect treadmill to run on, set my Ipod up, and started walking. Warming up for about 3 minutes...then I was off to a pace of 5.5. (amazingly slow huh?) about 3 minutes into running I realized something. The elasticity on my favorite pair of shorts was gone. Yes folks. That means with me running, and my body bouncing up and down (I have gravity and a couple brownins to thank for that) my shorts didn't want to stay up.
I thought long and hard. SOOOoooo now what? I decided that there's no way it was real. It'd turn out that my shorts would stay up. They HAD to!! I was going to have a fantastic work out!!
So I just reached back and would pull them up. I did that for about 5 minutes, when I though...Hey I'll roll my shorts. Rolling the top would make it have more of a snug fit right? I tried that for 3 minutes. Still no such luck. I was still reaching back every minute-minute and a half, pulling the back up.
Don't worry, I TRIED to do it incognito. I tried to make it look like I wasn't really pulling my shorts up. But really, how many times can you pretend to itch your back in a 2 minute segment? Not many times.
So what do I think about? I wonder what the person next to me is thinking...
"That lady is STRANGE...she keeps pulling her shorts up." "Doesn't she know that you should buy clothing that fits?" "Geeze if she's lost enough weight that those shorts don't fit now...I don't want to know what she used to look like..."
None of the things the person next to me was thinking was even remotely correct. Common people. The elasticity in the shorts are bad. Duh. Hasn't that ever happened to you?
When I suddenly realized that the person next to me was the LEAST of my worries! HELLO Emily! There is like 2 rows of people on ellipticals behind me, and then behind those ellipticals are all the weight machines. Good Grief. They are looking at my butt...and when I don't pull my shorts up fast enough they are looking at my underwear! (bad day to go with the random Christmas design underwear...)
Finally I reached a mile and a half. Half of what I was going to do. I stopped running. I decided I was just going to walk the rest of my work out. Totally lame. I was so pumped to run.
I went back to thinking about all these innocent people who were working out behind me and who I probably mooned them Christmas style. Sad day. I also thought about all those people with all their high tech phones getting on Facebook, Twitter, Or even if they have a blog themselves and putting their status/tweets as "totally went to the gym today, saw a girl running who couldn't keep her shorts up...lmao." (because don't you worry...If it was me who saw the poor girls shorts falling down, I would have totally come home and shared it with you on my blog.)
All of my dignity, self esteem, pride, good feelings...gone in an instant.
So I decided to own up to it. If you happen to come across someones status, tweet, or blog who talks about a girls shorts falling down wearing Christmas underwear at the end of April...You'll know it was me, and you'll have ME to thank for the many laughs the world is now getting.
...Just getting all your belly's in shape ;)