Can't get Enough...

**This is sarcastic**
Obviously I can't get enough of what I've done for the past three years.
I just hope that I can remember how to count.
Remember who everyone is so I don't need to ask for ID.
Learn that if someone complains for long enough it's okay to change the rules.
Bring stamps to work to sell.
Laugh at everyone who says they want a million dollars, as if they are the only ones who has EVER thought up that joke.
Maybe the people of Pittsburgh are a little bit more clever and their jokes will be original
...and funny.
Or maybe I'll learn that all people are the same and EVERYONE says the same things when it comes to banking.
We'll see!

**Journaling thoughts**
I'm So Grateful for this job! Mostly because I don't have to do anymore job searching...but also because I now don't have to sit home alone bored anymore!!
I'm so glad that I have had previous banking experience. If I didn't have that there's no way I would have ever had this job. Being a teller is kind of addicting. I think. It's fun. Sometimes. I guess it's fun when you have a good day. Just like other jobs. Either way. It's a job, and I'm SOOooo glad that I have found one. :)
Job searching is totally a punch to your ego. Cripes. It makes you feel lower than an ant! Not kidding either. It's hard work, and most of the time it felt like all the hours I was putting in were being wasted becasue I never got a call for an interview. I found that I started off really looking hard for jobs, but slowly it faded. I felt that the effort I was spending looking for a job was wasted time...much like if I had sat on the couch all day and watched TV. Soon I found myself doing just that. I remember one night being so frustrated, so down on myself, I started getting mad at Ty because it was his fault I was in this situation. Really it wasn't his fault. But I already felt like crap that I wanted to blame someone else. I remember Ty coming home and as he came over to give me a hug I just BLEW up at him. I feel so bad about it now. Poor Champ didn't even see it coming. After yelling for maybe 5 minutes he just hugged me and I started sobbing. I really did think that Pittsburgh was the end of the road, and I was going to break into a thousand pieces. I remember asking Ty to give me a blessing. (poor kid put on the spot again. The first time he gives his wife a blessing she's nearly in the middle of a melt down, and she's putting the blame on him.) However it was an amazing blessing, and it calmed me down a ton. I wanted more than anything for him to tell me I'd get a job, but of course the way the Lord works isn't like that. The road would be rough. Of course it would be...But I was comforted. After that I knew I couldn't think about how a job 24/7. I knew that I needed to stay on top of looking for a job, but I couldn't dwell on it, and when the time was right, the right job would pop up and I'd be able to get it. That was a lot of Faith, and I think that having faith is one of the hardest things. I'm one of those people that has to KNOW. NEEDS to have the future planned out...and not knowing nearly killed me. I had been looking up positions at banks for the past little while and nothing was opening up as a full time, so I decided to start applying as a part time. I figured I would start at a 20 hour and then hopefully work my way up. There was a bank hiring for a part time that was close to the school. So I spent the day working on an application to email to the human resources department at the bank. I was also going to mail it. I needed a job and I was going to do everything! haha. So I emailed it. Then next day I was email back saying they couldn't get my resume to open up, so I email them back and then I was offered an interview. Oh happy day. I'm not a loser. SOMEONE wanted to meet me. I could feel my self esteem start to breath again. (previous to this I think it may have gone into a coma...) I was so grateful for the interview. I remember kneeling and saying a prayer. Being so happy that I just got an interview! I figured if I got the job or not, at least I got an interview. That is so much better than getting ignored. I went to the interview and I thought it went pretty good. I left the interview wanting more than anything to have my name passed along to the branches and to get a second interview with the branch manager, when I realized all of a sudden I wasn't satisfied anymore with just the one interview. Talk about a needy person. So as I sat around waiting for a call to go meet with the branches I almost went insane again. I went to the second interview and after I felt like the interview was awesome, but for some reason it was awkward. I left feeling so deflated. I didn't want to start looking for other jobs again. I was pretty sure I had applied to every opening everywhere already. Cripes. But I'm 99.9% sure when I had gotten the job I did a little jig. Maybe I'll show you how it went if you ask. I was so excited!! I still am pretty excited. Being a teller again. I hope that I can do it. I remember when I first started at America First. I wanted to quit after a week. I HATED it. It's not that it was extremly hard...there was just SOOooo much pressure. And balancing. yeah. Not my forte when I first started. But eventually my nerves calmed and I could focus better. Thank heavens. Otherwise I'm sure I would have been fired. Here we go again. I'll think of it this way. The amount of time I spent working at America First...Is the amount of time I'll spend working at this bank. Geeze time flies.